Hi all, I am your newest and just possibly one of your favorite members. I am super happy to have found this group and I must say..."It smells good in here already!"

So, I'm on here this A.M puttsin' around and laughing hysterically at each passing post, when I look up at the television and who just "happened" to grace the screen following Paula's show?  Yep...The ultimate, great "EVOO-Ray-Ho."

I was getting ready to flip the channel to anything...Billy Graham, Geraldo or even The Smurfs when something caught my eye.

The "new" intro. Even more "dumbed down" than the boiling veggies in Pyrex pots. Even more annoying than the thought of knowing you're about to be graced with recipes not even fit for "Isaboo" who is soon to be "Dead-A-Boo" if animal control doesn't get in there and rescue her!

The intro has her running around and smiling her "You're so stupid, you think I'm the coolest thing since STOUP" smile. Her HUGE teeth that make Giada look even more "Semi-Homemade." Her Paws waving around as she's leaning on the letters "30 Minute Meals." Even the computerized letters are threatening to lean over and crumble.

Oh boy. Food Network put out some more bucks to change her theme. Does this mean she has signed another 50 year deal with them? Oh GAWD, the horrible thoughts come racing in.

STOP! I REBUKE YOU FOOD NETWORK DEVIL IN THE NAME OF FOOD!

I'm pretty sure I'd rather die a horrible death being plucked to death by chickens!

Her kitchen got a makeover as well. It's more orange and more annoying than ever before. She still has her oven than can cook a 25 pound turkey during the commercial break though. Her "GB" is still the same bowl that my Grandmother had in the early 50's and she still has that "Retchel Ray Microwave" that we can all buy for 40 easy payments of $19.99.

She now has Stainless pots and pans with orange handles. I'm "assuming" it's the new and NOT improved line of cookware that will hit the Goodwill shelves just in time to NOT buy them for Christmas!

Oh Lord, I have to go take a Xanax before I get more carried away than I already am!

Thanks for having a positively wonderful place to vent about the "Ray-Ho". Thank you a million times!

Signed,
The "newest" member of the now "Happiest Place On Earth."